She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
