you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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