I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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