Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
