OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
