i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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