We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
