I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
