he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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