Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
