sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
