So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
