Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
