That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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