Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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