Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
