Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
