some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
