Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
