Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
