Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I came so hard my ears popped.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
