Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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