I can tuck mytits in my pants
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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