I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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