He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
