We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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