bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
