just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
