Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
