I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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