That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
