hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
