He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
