Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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