How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
