And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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