Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
