She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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