dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just google imaged poop.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
