THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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