The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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