OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
