She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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