You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
