Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
