it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
