Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we're making bets on your personal life
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize