I just threw up on my dentist
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
