good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
