If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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