WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
